Hi there 👋,
Have you ever been in a meeting where someone explained an idea,
and you asked, “Can you explain?”
You meant it politely.
You genuinely wanted clarity.
But suddenly the room felt a little… tense.
The other person paused.
Their tone changed.
They sounded defensive.
If that’s happened to you, you’re not alone.
Most English learners have said this phrase without realizing how it can land.
Here’s the interesting part.
“Can you explain?” is grammatically correct.
But politeness in English isn’t about grammar — it’s about how the other person feels when they hear you.
Sometimes, that sentence sounds less like curiosity and more like a challenge.
It can feel like:
“You didn’t explain this well.”
“I don’t quite believe you.”
“I need you to justify this.”
That’s not what you meant — but it can be what they hear.
Hierarchy makes it trickier.
From a manager, it can feel like pressure.
From a colleague, it can feel like doubt.
From a junior, it can feel risky to say out loud.
Native speakers are sensitive to this emotional layer.
They listen for intention, not correctness.
That said — this phrase isn’t always a problem.
With friends or close colleagues, tone and expression soften everything.
Better alternatives that feel collaborative:
“Could you walk me through your thinking?”
“I’d like to understand this part a bit more.”
“Help me see how you approached this.”
“Can we go over this together?”
Each of these signals curiosity, not judgment, and makes the conversation feel shared rather than confrontational.
Have you noticed silence after asking a question?
Or seen someone go defensive without realizing why?
If that’s happened to you, reply and tell me what happened.
I read every response.
A small, funny truth:
In many languages, direct questions show interest.
In English workplaces, the same directness can feel sharp — even when no sharpness was intended.
This isn’t about memorizing polite phrases.
It’s about softening intent, sharing thinking space, and sounding respectful while still being clear.
It’s a speaking skill — not a grammar rule.
If you want to sit with this idea a bit longer, I’ve written more about how questions change meaning based on wording and tone — it’s there if you want to continue the thought.
I’m curious:
Is there a sentence you hesitate to use at work because you’re unsure how it sounds?
Reply and tell me.
We’ll figure it out together.
Talk soon,
Raghavendra M (ClipYourEnglish)
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